my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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