And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
