Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize