Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
