part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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