remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
