I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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