You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There are leaves in my underwear?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
