Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
