so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
