So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize