Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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