if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
