Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
