i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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