I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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