she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
