Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I should be sponsored by Trojan
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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