He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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