I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize