when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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