she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize