why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
organizing the empties. That sober.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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