it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
