Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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