If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
