Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I will be naked everywhere
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
