yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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