i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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