hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize