We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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