Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize