Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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