what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
