party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
