rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
