We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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