god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
