New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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