If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
