I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
