Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
