could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
