was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
