4 words: hood of his car
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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