They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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