all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
