Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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