She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
