I think I am morally bankrupt
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
