your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize