I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
