Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
