She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You took a bar mat shot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize