So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
