Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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