He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
