actually, I'm a sock model
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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