I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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